We’re pretty big soccer fans at PhillyPhaithful and until the Union arrive, we’ll continue to make due with waking up at 7:30am to watch HD games on ESPN. In case you’re crazy enough to do the same–though good beer tastes more pure in the AM–or have interest in doing so, here are our thoughts on the weekend slate of games in Jolly Olde England…

The Beautiful Game

Hull City-West Ham: If the Premier League was like the NFL and there were blackout rules for home games that failed to sell out, I imagine this game would never see the light of day on Sky Sports 6. Which means, naturally, it will end up as the most entertaining. I predicted a draw against Stoke last go-round with Hull, yet even in my optimism I did not see Phil Brown’s charges picking up a full casket of points against the Potters. West Ham seem to have the talent to be consistently in mid-table, as well as a positive thinking manager with loads of desire. Sidenote: Wouldn’t a reality show featuring Carlton Cole and Gianfranco Zola be the most entertaining bit of television that side of Gordon Ramsay? Regardless, I’m sticking with the belief that this match has 87 minutes of boring with 5 minutes of drama at the end. Late sub Jozy steals the three points at the death and promptly oversleeps his alarm for training tomorrow.

Birmingham-Fulham: Credit to the Blues: they’ve faced Arsenal (A), Sunderland (H), Man City (H) and Liverpool (A) in their last four and lost only one of those, collecting 5 against-the-odds points. Birmingham only have one player worth watching, the enigmatic Cristian Benitez, AKA Chucho. He’s like a little Ron Artest without the whole punching people thing and making crappy albums. Despite the lack of talent–let alone depth–they have been a tough out. Fulham, when they’re not in the middle of acquiring the better part of the Scandinavia landmass, have been much improved on the road. This is highly unusual considering they were apt to losing everywhere away from Craven Cottage in previous years, promoted sides be damned. However, despite Bobby Zamora’s best efforts to prevent victory at all costs, Fulham should continue their strong road play and take full points.

Sunderland-Arsenal: On paper, it seems a gimme for the Gunners. But Sunderland are a different team under Steve Bruce, who did much more with much less as manager of Wigan. The absence of Kenwyne Jones this weekend stings–Sunderland will need to take its chances even though Arsenal’s defense has conceded 14 goals this term, more than each of the other top 5 squads in the league. Without the services of Robin van Persie, whose ankle is apparently being medicated by a Serbian healer, Arsenal will look to their own Balkan healer, Eduardo, to continue their rich vein of form. On a somewhat related note, does anyone else enjoy the character of Arsene Wenger as much as I do? After spending time abroad, my friends and I developed a scale of how much you look like somebody should from that country. Frenchman Wenger would be a 10–meaning you could easily see him eating nothing but crusty bread and drinking the best Pinot Noir in his Burgundy vineyard estate. Also 10s: Gareth Southgate (England), Andriy Voronin (Ukraine) and Steve Stiffler (America). Any suggestions for the opposite end of the spectrum, someone you can’t believe is from that country? Eduardo (Croatia) always make me laugh despite the naturalization.

Stoke-Portsmouth (LOCK): Rumors out of the South Coast that Portsmouth boss Paul Hart doesn’t want to bring in former Wigan striker and Dep 7: Extra Hold supporter Amr Zaki from Egyptian side Zamalek, despite the two sides apparently agreeing on a fee. Watching Zaki on the same pitch as Stoke winger Tuncay might be too much unintentional humor for my heart. It’s no fluke Stoke are in the top half of the table, even if Tony Pulis is moonlighting as a substitute high school math teacher. Pompey has been better of late, but not good enough to win in the Potteries.

Liverpool-Man City: Is there not a player more mercurial by definition then one Fernando Torres, El Nino? It’s entirely possible for him to have a hat trick by halftime or leave gingerly holding his groin. At least his hair is a consistent participant. Even without his involvement, I feel the return of inspirational skipper Steven Gerrard will propel the Reds to victory, sparing Rafa further blushes. This game non-withstanding, you have to wonder how long City’s one-time, game-changing signing Robinho will continue to spend time watching with an ankle injury. Maybe he should catch up with van Persie. This game promises to be a doozy, if for no other than I’m waking up at 7:30am to watch it.

Owen Coyle is the new you

Burnley-Aston Villa: Like fellow newboys Birmingham, Burnley have managed to keep themselves right in the thick of things by limiting shellackings and riding strong home form. Owen Coyle is Phil Brown, circa 2008, minus the Just For Men goatee and Motorola straight-from-the-box headset. Aston Villa are nearing the return of Stewart Downing (who really should be spelling his name Stuart as I instinctively typed before realizing my error), which will give them transfer window results before the transfer window. Villa started strong last season and were in 3rd spot as late as February before the lack of depth in their squad began to take its toll. The recent time off will serve them well. No slip ups here against a game Burnley squad.

Man United-Everton: Apart from maybe Wenger, can you imagine there being a larger character in the league then Sir Alex? First he’s getting fined for calling the officials fat-asses, now he’s claiming Wayne Rooney is simply not ready to captain United, despite already captaining his country. My personal opinion is irrelevant, but seems strange for Ferguson to even bring it up. United aren’t nearly as dynamic a team as they were with Portuguese Ken leading the lines and their backline is woefully inconsistent considering Nemanja Vidic gets a red card every fourth game. While amusing to see standing next to each other, both Jo and Marouane Felliani have been a disappoinment this season for Everton and not even Tim Cahill will be enough to overcome an inspired Rooney, playing against his former team and to a lesser degree, one would imagine his manager’s assertions.

Chelsea-Wolves: It speaks to the strength of Chelsea’s squad that they will be without the likes of Lampard, Drogba, Ballack and Deco and will still field a team that should be heavily favored to win at home. It also speaks to the quality of Wolves when the main headline out of their camp is that they’re being boosted by the return of right-back Kevin Foley. Yeah. Exactly. Missing out on a chance to watch Drogba in his current form is unfortunate for those in attendance. He’s really been nothing short of dominant despite spending nearly 33 percent of each game on the ground.It will be interesting to see if younger, fringe players like Daniel Sturridge get a run-out for the Blues.

Really packing them in at the Reebok

Bolton-Blackburn Draw: Big Sam returns to his former stomping grounds with major worries about the psychological and physical state of his midfield Keith Andrews. Remarkable that Paul Ince got at least one thing right in his time at Rovers, as Andrews was a major force for his country against France in their disputed World Cup Playoff. If he can’t play, it will likely hurt Blackburn in midfield. In the other dugout, it seems like every time someone calls for the ritualistic eating of Gary Megson’s first born, his team responds. Bolton seem destined to live dangerously close to the drop zone all season, stringing together inconsistent performances until the very end. This should be a very physical game and I’m going with a draw.

Tottenham-Wigan: More fallout from the Irish losing in France should include Robbie Keane playing a massive role in the result. A motivated Keane-O makes for good viewing, preferably complete with cartwheels and 2nd grade shooting of the finger guns. The good news from Spurs is that keeper Carlo Cudicini is out of the hospital after his nasty motorbike accident and it appears that while he’ll miss the remainder of the season, he should be fit to resume his career in the future. I am yet to get a good read on Wigan and new manager Roberto Martinez, though they seem to be strong enough to finish safely midtable if they don’t run into an injury bug.

My High School Aged Cousins’ Team-Whoever they’re playing: Despite knowing very little about soccer strategy, my Uncle–and team coach–loves nothing more than yelling out randoms forms of vocal encouragement in the hopes that it will spur his guys and girls to victory. I’m betting they respond by largely ignoring him and dominating the competition anyways.

We’ll have NFL Picks up tomorrow in the AM. Enjoy the weekend.